Straight people. They’re cute, aren’t they? Sometimes they say the darndest things. You know, when they waltz up and spout unusual comments when they really, really should know better by this point? I mean, it can be more than a little annoying.
“So who’s the girl?”
This implies not only that sex must always take place in a relationship and that said sex can only involve penetration of one person by another person, but also that the person in the submissive, bottoming, or receiving position is somehow inferior (for example, a woman, if we go by our culture’s fantastic standards). Um…what? It’s so sad when you find out somebody’s vanilla not by choice, but by sheer ignorance of what’s out there. And in the case of topping and bottoming indeed taking place, it’s ultimately nobody’s business than the couples’.
“Wow! I never would’ve guessed you were gay!”
Sure, there are stereotypes of being gay—lisps, effeminate gestures, swishing walks, inexplicable obsessions with brunch—but in the end, any dude walking down the street could be gay. We come in all shapes and sizes (Heh). Perhaps more interestingly is when straight people say the above as a form of compliment. Some of us pass as straight? Well la-dee-freaking-da. I think I’ve just been called boring.
“You’re gay? What a waste.”
Uh…maybe for you? But I’m pretty sure there’s a slew of gay men that’d be more than happy to contradict you. Just because you can’t benefit from my stunning good looks and, perhaps for once in your life, can’t have what you want doesn’t mean it’s actually a world of grey clouds because I like men. Get over yourself and get on with your life.
“No homo.”
Wow, you’re another one that needs to get over yourself. Just because you complimented me doesn’t mean I suddenly want to get in your pants. You’re still as much of a jerk as you were 30 seconds ago. And now that you complimented me only to retract it and insult me is pretty lame. If you’re so worried about being labelled as gay yourself, perhaps the answer shouldn’t be panicked assurance of your own straightness, but an effort to stop homophobia. Then you wouldn’t be so worried about people accidentally thinking you’re gay. See how that works?
