Each of us, at least at one point in our lives, has seen that ridiculously blissful couple together and has thought, “How in the world do they do it?” When you’re single or in a crummy relationship, it can be tough to see other gay guys being so happy in their pairings. It may be a total mystery to you as to how they could manage to look like they never fight or have any worries about the nature of their relationship. But it actually isn’t a mystery. There are a few vital things every successful gay relationship has, and they aren’t very hard to acquire for two people who are willing to implement them. Be mindful of adding these qualities to your next relationship and you’ll soon reap the benefits of them becoming second nature!
Humor
You don’t have to be comedians, but definitely know how and when to laugh things off. No matter how alike you both are, in the end you’re still completely different people. You’ll come to your crossroads at times and it’s up to you whether you want to let your differences fester or simply let them go. Enhance your relationship by finding the joy in your partner’s quirks and appreciating him as the unique human being he is. After all, it’s not like the point of a good relationship is to create some sort of Mini Me.
Flexibility
Sometimes you’re going to want to see the new exhibit at the museum and sometimes your partner will want to go to the ballgame. Learn how to engage in each other’s activities even if they’re not the most exciting things for you. Remember that you don’t need to have the same level of excitement about the thing itself as your partner does, but do have excitement about seeing your partner so excited. This thing is something he loves and you love him. Done deal.
Emotional First Aid
It’s the nature of couples to sometimes have spats. What makes some relationships grow stronger from these fights instead of deteriorate, however, is whether or not they know how to handle them. For most couples where being curt with one another is fairly uncommon, it usually means the misbehavior is stemming toward something outside of the relationship. Does one of you get cranky when he’s hungry? Has the other been working an 80-hour week? Take note of each other’s behaviors and act accordingly. Have the fight, but then also do the appropriate clean-up by making sure you’ve both eaten, taken a nap, or do whatever else it is you need to do.
Privacy
Especially near the beginning, you’ll probably want to spend every second together. But once that honeymoon period ends, you’ll likely realize that you may actually want to sometimes be on your own. And you know what? That’s completely okay. Each person in the relationship needs to understand that it’s fine to ask for some privacy an evening or two a week and that such a request isn’t meant to be taken personally. It’s not that your boyfriend no longer likes you. It’s just that he was his own person for many years before he met you. So let him go out with his friends or sit on the couch reading a book for a few hours. It’s nothing against you
Tough Times
A pretty consistent factor in strong relationships is that they’ve been through some serious stuff. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a death in the family, or struggling to find a new apartment, relationships that stick together during these tough times are pretty much able to handle anything thereafter. That’s what makes them so successful. The small stuff just doesn’t faze them anymore and they recognize those small problems for exactly what they are.
Which of these attributes do you feel you’ve had in your relationships? Are there any you think are missing? Tell us in the comments!
