It’s a known fact in the gay animal kingdom: you often have to buy a lot of rounds before you find Prince Charming. And while the hunt is all well and good, it can be excruciating when you don’t do it right. Simply not feeling kismet with a guy is so much less soul-crushing than if you continuously crash and burn. What have you been doing wrong? Check out some of these do’s and don’ts of gay dating to see if you’re in the clear!
DON’T call yourself “straight-acting” or “straight-looking.”
Look, it doesn’t matter if you think it’s true or not. You showcasing this makes it sound like you’re ashamed of being gay. And what fellow gay guy would be attracted to that?
DON’T suggest going to a bar for your first date.
The thing about bars is they’re noisy. And crowded. And full of other potentially eligible men. Cut down on the distractions and go meet your date at a place that also works as a conversation piece, which can be as simple as a coffee house.
DON’T self-deprecate.
As Davey Wavey says, pretend you’re an iPhone! Don’t go on about your bad stuff, only talk about the good. Sell yourself!
DON’T talk about your ex.
Or any controversial topic, for that matter. The newer your date is to you, the more inappropriate it is to talk about old wounds, grudges, or haircuts.
DON’T play coy after your date.
The “wait 24-48 hours to call” rule is so misleading. Don’t play games if you like the guy or you could risk losing him. If you had a good time, text him to say so that same evening (Or morning, if you’ve played your cards especially well…).
DO shut up.
Talking about yourself is important, but so is listening. Dating is a two-way street and you won’t get to know each other better if one of you is always dominating the conversation. Instead, make sure you’re giving him his turn to talk after you say something about yourself. Follow up with questions about his own favorite food or movie or song.
DO prepare to pay for at least your half of the date.
It doesn’t matter who suggested the date, who has more money, or who’s more effeminate or masculine; it’s just good form to offer to pay for at least half of the cost.
DO arrive on time.
Punctuality is sexy. It means you care enough about the guy to, you know, actually show up before he’s been forced to wait for forever. And being late will just plain make him madder the longer you take.
DO make sure your hookup and dating apps are turned off.
There’s nothing more awkward that hearing one of those familiar pings in the middle of dinner, so make sure they’re all turned off. And for the love of God, don’t go scrolling through them when a candidate is sitting right in front of you. Talk about rude.
DO allow yourself to get nervous.
Everybody gets nervous about first dates and attempting to suppress that will only make it worse. Instead of attempting to ignore it, embrace it. Recognize what your nervousness truly is: excitement. And excitement is good.
So what gay dating do’s or don’ts have you found work best for you? Tell us in the comments below!
