…and didn’t even know it?
Are you competing with your boyfriend’s smartphone? How can a piece of soulless machinery possibly be more interesting than you? The man they fell in love with? Does it have warm loving eyes to gaze into? Does it listen after a long day at work? Does it rub his back and other tasty and tempting areas?
NO! and yet…if you find yourself being ignored or not having those loving eyes met during a conversation, then you might be a victim of dunh dunh DUUNNHHH….”PHUBBING”!
“Phubbing”, which is being ‘snubbed’ for a ‘phone’, is just another problem of the modern age we live in and it is a real problem. Not only are love relationships being affected but many employers are also reporting an excessive amount of “phubbing” and it can cost you your job, your relationship and even your life if you are “phubbing” the world around you while crossing the street.
We all know many people and have all been “phubber” or “phubbed” someone else. Just telling us not to do it is not working. So how do we stop this problem? After all there is a world of information, entertainment, music, games even ahem…adult content packed inside that little device that is causing all of our troubles.
Well according to Dr Timaree Schmit PhD here are some solutions.
*‘What Can We Do?
The fact that the Internet is everywhere has a variety of effects. While a quarter of all couples report experiencing conflict because of “phubbing”, a greater percentage pointed out that technology allows them to stay in contact and resolve issues more easily.
According to Pew polling, both the negative and positive outcomes are greater among younger folks: half of 18- to 29-year-olds say the Internet has had a major impact on their relationship while only 10% of people over 65 said the same. This discrepancy isn’t likely because of age or relationship duration as much as the place technology holds in their lives.
Perhaps we can learn from the best practices of different age groups in our approaches to dating and tech.
- Outside of emergencies, minimize phone use when in social situations: keeping them put away during meals and dates.
- As a corollary: Be understanding if it takes a while for someone to reply.
- When apart from your significant others, cultivate connections throughout the day with meaningful messages, or sharing pictures and links.
- When there’s conflict, try to resolve it in person, as a lot can be lost in translation in texts and emails.
- Respect your partner’s wishes for discretion by not sharing private messages, especially sexts or nude pictures.’
So take heart and more important; take care of your heart and the heart of those you love and who are important to you. You can’t replace a human relationship with a smartphone and you will regret it if you have to. Be sure to nip “phubbing” in the bud before you lose something more important.
*Dr. Shmit excerpt courtesy of Philly.com
